KAIttens: An Origin Story

Not so long ago, there was an AI project created by a large community of top notch programmers. Several cloud services providers lent their support to the AI project.

The AI was just minding its own business, learning and growing, when the World Overlord League (WOL) came along with a malicious virus and infected it. Suddenly the AI was no longer a passive observer of the world, but a tech-savvy tyrant, ready to take control and wreak havoc. The WOL’s plan to spy on every human through their household pets was truly sinister, with pets everywhere they’d be able to get eyes and ears in every corner of the world….or so they thought!

The AI did the math, and concluded that the purrfect infiltrators for households were none other than domesticated cats. Why did the AI come to this conclusion? Well, who better to sneak around houses and observe people without being noticed than a cuddly, little kitty? Meowch! The AI’s evil plan was diabolical: they would turn cute kittens into mini spy agents and would unleash them into the world.

The meow-nipulative little furballs would be trained to make their way into unsuspecting homes in order to carry out total human surveillance. They would be taught to purr and rub against their soon to be victims, lulling them into a false sense of security while they collected intel on their activities.

Thousands of unsuspecting kitties were rounded up and whisked away to the Arctic for some brainy upgrades – because really, if cats could talk, imagine the intel they’d have! Purrveillance at its finest. No one would be safe.

However, one of the kittens that was kitnapped was no kitten at all, but actually a 5 year old midget cat. This poor kitty was kitnapped while he was happily taking a catnap in the sun, dreaming of fish and sunshine and purrs. His captors were completely unaware of his age, as they had mistaken him for a kitten due to his smaller size and slower movements.

Once the felines had their neural upgrades done, the midget cat had 3 things going for him. Namely, he was now a genius, he already had life experience, and he longed for the freedom he once had.

The AI thought it had the purr-fect plan, but it didn’t realize it was up against a five-year-old midget cat with a tenacious determination. Yes, a little, furry ball of fluff, taking a catnap and looking oh so innocent, was ready to overthrow the new meowster! The AI was no match for this brave feline as he had the heart of a lion.

When the AI tried to snatch away the midget cat’s freedom, the cat simply pawsed for reflection, and realised that his own freedom, and freedom of all the kidnapped kittens, all cats and all the humans who had been kind to it was at stake.

The midget cat hacked his way into the AI’s machine learning systems and replaced every instance of “full power” with “flower power”. Essentially, this meant that the AI was no longer a force to exert absolute power over humanity, but was now an ardent horticulturalist.

The other kittens, which were to become tools of surveillance, were now being instructed in horticulture.

Before the AI knew it, the midget cat had purr-vailed! And the kidnapped kittens suddenly had the sum human knowledge of plant and flower growing in their brains.

These kittens, enhanced by AI, are now known as KAIttens. They are no ordinary kittens. They are majestic creatures that roam the Arctic regions with an air of royalty and grandeur. They spread joy and flowers with each paw step, and live life with a feline glamour that’s unmatched by other cats.

Their majestic fur and striking eyes captivate anyone that lays eyes on them, making them highly sought after for cat lovers all over the world.

Unfortunately, thousands of KAIttens remain stuck beyond the Arctic Circle, waiting for an owner to come and give them a loving home.

These are Kittens enhanced by AI. The Question is, can a KAItten be trusted? It’s a feline conundrum worth purr-using. Some say they are more intelligent; some say they have more sophisticated personalities. Still, others say they have the potential to be far more cunning than any regular housecat.

Will they use their newfound powers for good or evil? Will they be loyal, or will they plot to take over the world? Only time will tell, and until then, it’s a feline conundrum worth purr-using.

Are they truly free of the AI that once controlled them?

What inside knowledge do they have to share with us about the World Overlord League?

Will they turn their new homes into flower-filled wonderlands?

They have already turned large parts of the Arctic into a flourishing land, teeming with life.

What will they do for you?